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Interview With Sir Millard Mulch

Our Ten Questions Go Up To 11

Z: Who are you and how would you personally describe your music?

It is hard to describe one without describing the other. We are one and the same. My music is my all-inclusive excuse for my existence, so it is representative of everything I do -- and that includes everything that my environment around me does -- and on a greater level, what the Universe does. You could sit there and describe it in terms of numbers and methods of tuning and harmonic & rhythmic theory, but that doesn't do anything more than point a finger at an object or concept and does not actually describe it in any relevant way. If you cut up the hologram, you just end up with a whole bunch of little holograms. Much like this answer, thinking about things too much and questioning them can cause them to disappear. It is similar to when you try and understand what light is; the harder you look, the less you know. You become "The Man Who Wasn't There." I have gotten to the point of understanding my own music so well that it has ceased to exist for me; I can't hear it. Can you? I am not sure anyone does except for those who hate it. That goes a long way in explaining why I continue to do what I do in the face of such adversity -- without those who hate me and my music, I wouldn't exist. That is the secret of Perpetual Motion. Did you know that in San Francisco they have electric trains that seem to run off a single current? Someone suggested the trains are fed a continual positive current, and the passengers supply the negativity. But that is only one theory. I don't understand, but I see the trains running...and I ride them every day.

Z: When writing, where do you begin?

I begin by walking around and doing things I have not much interest in doing. Perhaps working a day job, or going about some sort of repetitive task. I will be sitting somewhere, and words will either pop into my mind, or a song title, or an album title. It's usually when I am frustrated. Other times, I get these music theory axioms projected in my brain from seemingly nowhere. They don't make sense at first, but if I can grab onto them and either say them, or write them down, and admit that they are there, they revolutionize the way I see things. So writing them all down on a huge list is the first step towards actually accumulating the ideas in what you would call reality. Often they are in the form of a question or statement that I don't agree with; I then set the idea in motion and attempt to practice it or argue it to those around me who can tolerate it. It's similar to role-playing. I take the position of trying to prove these philosophical beliefs or theories, like when an author has to get into the mind of the serial killer to be able to write the character of one accurately. The problem comes when it is time to stop being the serial killer, and be able to go out and walk your dog. Things are different once you gaze into the abyss. The next step is to then look at yourself from the outside, as if you are not yourself, because now you have imprinted an alien force or pattern of consciousness into what was once familiar territory; kind of like taping a transparency of streets onto an already existing map. As you continue to tape on layers and layers, you wonder what the purpose of the map is, and at some point you realize you are just making a huge mess and everything becomes very black.

Z: Which groups, artists and/or bands inspire you?

Trey Spruance, Danny Elfman, Prokofiev, Schlegel, and Stravinsky are my main inspirations musically, as of late -- people who make me want to work on music. I have plenty of musicians I respect and love, but nothing else really makes me want to be creative. Bands just depress me. I only have a certain amount of energy available to me, and I choose to spend it in other ways than practicing scales or making my fingers work with blinding speed. The idea of carrying around gear and sitting around in pot and cigarette smoke for a living is awful. Once in a while I see someone like Dave Weckl play, and I am floored. As long as people that skilled and creative are around, I just can't feel that watching some random noisy metal band is worth it. My threshold for flavor is pretty high these days, so I need the hot sauce. Aside from that, I think Andrew WK is great. But as time goes on, I find myself getting more and more judgmental and endeavoring to practice hasty acts of prejudice. For me it's all about calibrating my perceptions to something I am most comfortable with. Have you ever noticed that these dumb ass kids in the counter-culture all scream with every ounce of their being that they are individuals, while at the same time screaming that all of mankind is a collective? Which is it? Keep in mind that a truly judgmental person might love as often as he hates -- and that happens to be one thing I hate. It makes the things I enjoy that much better.

Z: Are you influenced by art and literature at all?

As I said before, the rock music scene is not very rewarding for me anymore, and I am more appreciative of people who just sit in a dark room and eat noodles all day, if you know what I mean. I don't even play an instrument anymore unless I am recording. So I'd say that I am definitely more influenced by art and literature than I am by music.
Even business theory really excites me. I buy way too many books and always have stacks all around me that I read at random. But in all disciplines, there are usually only a few things I really like. I really enjoy pop culture movies, comic books, philosophy / spirituality books, and fiction -- my greatest hobbies are reading and going to movies. I can't see the reward in going to see The Melvins. Honestly, the coolest thing I have explored to make myself happier lately is Freemasonry.

Z: Are there any songs/tracks that you have heard and thought, I wish I'd written that?

Often, in enjoying things so deeply, I feel I may as well take credit for creating them. Since art is a method of communication, the listener has to have the capacity to re-create the structure in his or her mind. Takes one to know one.

Z: Do you push yourself to write, or do you have to wait until you're inspired, as it were?

A combination of both. I can't just get these great ideas and then not do the work to make them a reality. I tend to be a workaholic and am driven by an intense anxiety that I will disappear if I don't get this stuff out. What else am I here for? I can think of plenty of things, like watching my snails eat. Right now I'm working on a Triple CD called The World's Greatest Salesman. I don't buy so much into this "inspiration" stuff that I would sit around my whole life waiting for it. I know a lot of people who do that; they wait for God to give them a sign. My weird ideas are the only sign I need.

Z: What was it that pushed you into making music, and why do you continue to punish us?

I heard Steve Vai play on David Lee Roth's albums and I thought his guitar was the closest thing I could find to the sound of outer space -- laser beams, flying saucers, robots, aliens, etc. And not necessarily by that stereotypical sci-fi retro method that I hate. I just couldn't understand at all how he made such a seemingly boring instrument make such sounds that were from some other dimension. I mean, you stick your finger on a string and go, "plunk!" But this guy could go off into another world and build this massive structure that had not been there before. As far as I know, I am doing pretty much what he does, minus the rock n' roll gunslinger stage acrobat stuff.
To me, it is just about making some crazy thing beyond simple comprehension and then sitting back and contemplating it. Just like reading a book, just like watching a movie. Other than that I am just extremely dissatisfied with the so-called "bands" that are around these days, especially within the space I am trying to occupy. They're in my way, so I am trying to push them off the hill and climb on top and proclaim my power. I think most of these bands that are considered "weird" are pathetic and don't deserve mention except for the fun of exposing them for what they really are. It is because of this that I have pretty much decided that my purpose as a musician is to make people unhappy with my music. I can't even begin to tell you what it feels like to wake up every day and be hanging over a musical abyss, and feeling the need to grab onto something solid and do something to occupy my mind as I am falling into it endlessly. I want people to experience that with me. The really bad thing about it? It's limitless in all directions -- so I am not so much falling, as I am hovering in emptiness. Movement is only a valid concept if you have something to move in relation to. Nothing else around me seems to move, so that's all I am left with. It's all I can do to fight off the feeling of doom. It all comes down to the idea of transcendence, and music is just the means by which I sometimes achieve that. Ever have one of those dreams where you are trying to fight someone but you can't move?
That's my life. As one of my spiritual advisors told me, "There is no reason to fear the abyss! We are all in it!" I don't really agree with that, because I am terrified.

Z: Do you feel the internet is a good way of helping/promoting your music?

I think the internet is great because you can get stuff for free. A lot of people may lose business over it, but they also get other stuff for free. It seems to me that it should balance out. People should stop complaining. At the same time, the internet is not going to be much different in helping business than a telephone is. Soon everyone will have a listing, and it doesn't mean anyone is going to call you or want to talk to you. I have a hard time feeling any pity for a business that goes under because they overestimated the importance of it -- that false hope in the power of the internet is what screwed up San Francisco pretty bad. In a nutshell, it makes it easier for people to get information, and my music is a type of information. We all may someday end up with only one possession - a computer. And further on down the line, a brain -- which is much more powerful than any computer if you know how to use it. You can call that a "Strange Loop."

Z: Has the computer age, and its use in creating, editing and manipulating music helped you in any way?

What I do would not be possible without a computer. My computer is treated as a part of my body. It makes up for a lot of the limits in my brain and hands, but at the same time, it can only be an extension of the person using it. If I had to rely on pencils, pens, and rusty guitar strings, I would not have the luxury of quickly executing a plan or creating a product. It's really just a tool, but a powerful one that I am thankful for. Unless you want to be The Unabomber, you may as well embrace it.

Z: Give me three good reasons why someone should buy your CDs, barring threats of bodily harm?

I don't see any reason someone should buy my CD's, and that is backed up by the reality that no one does. Things are as they should be. I could give you a few reasons that someone would want to listen to my music... but most importantly in this case it would be to find out if it is similar to the thought patterns and DNA behind my answers to these questions. You know, "is his music really as good as he makes it out to be?" I am here to warn you, it probably isn't. A better challenge would be to find a reason that someone should read this interview.

Z: Finally, what happened to my 1st class air tickets, free drink, drugs and promises of casual sex?

Looks like we both picked the wrong career!

Many thanks to Sir MIllard for his time and energy, contact details are below.

Sir Millard Mulch
San Francisco's Most Modern Thinker!

AIM: sirmillardmulch

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